On Prayushan Parva - Forgiveness in relationship

On the Prayushan Parva festival - Forgiveness in Relationships:

Forgiveness in marriage is an important aspect in a marriage. When two individuals are able to forgive each other it results to a long happy marriage. Forgiveness can help prevent problems from accruing in the married couple's future.^[69]

In a 2005 study, researchers were interested whether forgiveness is important in a marriage relationship or if forgiveness is not important? When does forgiveness usually accrue? Does it accrue before an argument or after an argument? Does forgiveness take a role when a person breaks a promise?^[69]Researcher found six components that were related to forgiveness in marriage and explains how each one relates to forgiveness. The six components are:Satisfaction, Ambivalence, Conflict, Attributions, Empathy andCommitment.^[69]

Researchers provided an overview of forgiveness in marriage and how individuals in a relationship believe that if forgiveness accrues then you mustforget what had happened.^[69] Moreover, based on the interventions and recommendations the researcher started to see how important forgiveness is in a relationship and how it can lead to a happy and healthy relationship.^[69]

In a 2005 study, researchers mentioned that when couples forgive their spouses they sometimes need help from professionals to overcome their pain that might be left behind.^[69]Researchers also described the difference between how each individual perceives the situation based on who is in pain and who caused the pain. Also how the couple react to the situation based on their feelings and how they personally response to the situation.^[69]

The model of forgiveness:

“Enright’s model of forgiveness has received empirical support and sees forgiveness as a journey through four phases” which are:^[69]

1. Uncovering phase: Emphases on exploring the pain that the individual has experienced.

1. Decision phase: The nature of forgiveness is discussed. Also the individual commits that she or he will try to forgive the spouse

1. Work phase: shifts the focus to the transgressor in an effort to gain insight and understanding.

1. Deepening phase: the victim moves toward resolution, becoming aware that he or she is not alone, has him or herself been the recipient of others’ forgiveness, and finds meaning and purpose in the forgiveness process.^[69]

Furthermore, when married couples argue they tend to focus on who is right and who is wrong. Also couples tend to focus on who proves the other wrong which can cause more problems and can make the problem worse because it will make it harder to forgive one another.^[69]

Recommendation and interventions:

The researchers also came up with recommendation for practitioners and intervention to help individual that are married on how to communicate with each other, how to resolve problems and how to make it easier to forgive each other.^[69] Some of the intervention of forgiveness in marriage has been a great success. It encouraged forgiveness and made couples happier together.^[69]

Some of the recommendation that was given to practitioners was that the individuals had to explore and understand what forgiveness means before starting any intervention because the preconceived idea of forgiveness can cause problems with couples being open to forgive.^[69] For example, an individual not forgiving his or her spouse out of fear that the spouse might think that he or she is weak which can cause a conflict.^[69] It was stated that the couple must know the following:

• Forgiveness takes

• The different forms of forgiveness

• The danger in communicating in forgiveness

• Perpetrators and victims have different perceptive context is important^[69]

Furthermore, the researchers thought of ways to further help married couples in the future and suggested that they should explore in the following:

• The importance of seeking forgiveness
• Self-forgiveness
• The role of the sacred in marital forgiveness^[69]

Relationships are at the sentiment aspect of our lives; with our families at home and friends outside. Relationships interact in schools and universities, with work mates and , with colleagues at the workplace and in our diverse communities. In the article it states, the quality of these relationships determines our individual well-being, how well we learn, develop and function, our sense of connectedness with others and the health so society.^[70]

In 2002, two innovators of Positive Psychology, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, conducted a study at the University of Illinois on the 10% of students with the highest scores recorded on a survey of personal happiness. What they came up with was most salient characteristics shared by students who were very content and showed positive life styles were the ones who “their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.”^[71]

A study done in 2000, identified as a key study that taken part and examined two natures of relationships (friends and family) and at what age does the support switch importance from one to the other. What the study showed that people whom had good family realtionship, they were able to carry out more positive outside relationships with friends. Through the family relationship and friendships the character of the individual was built to forgive and learn from the experience in the family. It just goes to show that to have a good base at the start of a young age, will train the person to have good better well-being with outside interactions.^[72]

In 2001, Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet asked people to think about someone who had hurt, wronged, or offended them. As they thought to answer, she observed their reaction. She observed their blood pressure, heart rate, facial muscle tension, and sweat gland activity. To deliberate on an old misdemeanor is to practice unforgiveness. Interestingly enough, the outcome to the recall of the grudge the candidates’ blood pressure and heart rate increased, and they sweated more. Pondering about their resents was stressful, and subjects found the rumination unpleasant. When they adept forgiveness, their physical stimulation glided downward. They showed no more of a anxiety reaction than normal wakefulness produces.^[73]

In 2013, study on self-forgiveness with spouse forgiveness has a better outcome to a healthier life by Pelucchi, Paleari, Regalia and Fincham. This study investigates self-forgiveness for real hurts committed against the partner in a romantic relationship (168 couples). For both males and females, the mistaken partners were more content with their romantic relationship to the extent that they had more positive and less negative sentiment and thoughts toward themselves. In the study when looking at the victimized partners were more gratified with the relationship when the offending partner had less negative sentiment and thoughts towards themselves. It concludes that self-forgiveness when in a relationship has positive impact on both the offending and victimized partner.^[74]